South Philly on Display

Holiday wall frogs...of course!

2012-01-06T14:39:00.000-08:00

2012-01-03T17:55:00.001-08:00

My favorite New Year's tradition is counting the number of drunk Mummer Guys that got separated from their group.

This year I counted 8.

(Click image to enlarge)

How merry is that doggy in the window?

2011-12-24T11:49:00.000-08:00

Mini Nutcracker.

Normal Nutcracker.

Dog.

Happy Holidays.

Santa Split!

2011-12-24T11:47:00.001-08:00

When it comes to Christmas, nobody fucks with 13th & Morris

2011-12-20T10:23:00.000-08:00

Sure everyone laughs at this block for keeping most of their decorations up year round, but who's laughing now? (and by "now", I mean "until the 26th")

2011-08-24T12:06:00.000-07:00

The Southern Lights are so pretty this time of year...

2011-08-01T19:48:00.000-07:00

Can't afford a trip to

Alaska to see Aurora Borealis?

Then how about Morris, just off Passyunk?

South Philly hair care tastes almost as good as our cheesesteaks.

2010-10-15T08:32:00.000-07:00

T Rex Vs Robot Brain!

2010-10-07T20:22:00.000-07:00

Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. And manigot.

2010-08-25T11:23:00.000-07:00

I came across this display one bright and sunny Saturday a few weeks back. It could have been decorated this way for Maria's belated confirmation, Anthony's First Holy Communion, or for Donna and Kyle to celebrate the birth of their little girl whom we pray will be raised in the Catholic Church and not as a Jew-Meschugena like Kyle's family wants.

Look at the care taken here. Everything carefully selected and placed just so. White faux plastic roses with hot glue gun dew drops. Feather-soft lace, hugging the iron hand rail, finished at each end with a bow made of clouds. A beautiful gesture commemorating an important moment in this fleeting life the Lord hath offered us, for which we are forever grateful, and show this by living every day in his image.

What's that? It's gonna rain for the next three days? Fuuuuuck that.

Did you have a better idea?

Didn't think so.

The Holy Trinity

2010-07-30T09:48:00.000-07:00

Michael Jackson? Check. Jesus? Check.

Black Betty Boop? That's a check.

Sham on.

Next year...

2010-07-26T08:41:00.000-07:00

(thanks for the night shot amy)

A Christmas Story and some Animal Sex

2010-07-23T11:10:00.000-07:00

Get it kitty.

South Philly divided, and this time it's not over cheesesteaks...sort of

2010-07-15T10:52:00.000-07:00

The cross streets of 9th & Passyunk are no stranger to long lines and big crowds. I often pass by and am witness to everything from local radio station promotional events to short film productions shooting the scene of their movie where the main character confesses his love to a girl with a mouthful of cheese fries. (Check it out, the movie is called "My Heart Beats for Cow Meats", starring Keirnan Culkin. Just kidding, that movie doesn't exist, thankfully.)

Sometimes the gatherings outside of Geno's are of a more serious fare, and coax other South Philadelphians to come out and voice their opinions. Most famously, Anti Mumia protests and a book signing by fallen policeman Daniel Faulkner's wife Maureen Faulkner for her book entitled "Murdered by Mumia" back in 2007. That, combined with Geno's food ordering policy, may lead some to believe that they are not afraid of drawing social and racial lines.

Needless to say Geno's is very outspoken about certain issues; certain issues usually meaning race issues. And last week was no different.

Geno's, in conjunction with everyone's favorite 1210 AM radio, held an event outside of their neon adorned establishment to raise money for the Republican governor of Arizona to fight the Federal Government's lawsuit against Arizona and it's SB1070 immigration law. Buy a cheesesteak, help keep the law alive.

The Geno's side was a spattering of American Flags and "No Amnesty" signs.

Across the street, there was a very different message.

Now as we all know, both sides are allowed to voice their opinions, and that is not something to take issue with. What is, however, is how one or both sides can display their complete ignorance and digress into pure hatred and aggression against the other.

SOLIDARITY

This is the point where 1210 am began blaring "My Country Tis of Thee" and all of the Geno's event supporters turned their backs on the "Un-American" protesters across the street. A truly touching display of angry white people coming together and pulling the "Patriot" card. Way to go guys!

You might be saying, but where's the hate you speak of? Read on.

My favorite part of the event was the "teach your kid to be a bigot" segment. This is where grown men, and some women, began spouting homophobic slurs at the SB1070 protesters. Have a look.

The gentleman in the front being told to step back by the police officer was especially poetic, calling one of the protesters on the other side a "faggot". Well it turns out the man across the street was actually in fact gay, and having probably heard that slur his entire life, reacted with "I am gay!" between laughs. The angry man's response? "Then why don't you come over here and suck my dick!" and proceeded to grab his crotch and partially unzip his pants.

Oh, and did anyone notice the 8-year-old boy directly behind him hoisted on his father's shoulders? Becasue apparently no one there did. Not even the father.

See him now? All the way to the right, American flag in hand? Yea, about 30 seconds after the aforementioned exchange, that little boy started yelling "faggot" across the street, the whole time waving the flag and sitting atop his beaming father's shoulders. A prouder dad I've never seen.

This is indeed something to take issue with. The fact that the kid has no idea what is truly happening, only that his 'team' is made up of the good guys and it's fun to call people names on the 'bad' side.

And this is what it became. A bunch of pointed name calling and ignorant bigotry. That's not to say that everyone on the Geno's side was acting that way. Not at all. I spoke with several rational behaving individuals that were able to hold a conversation without demeaning me personally or verbally assaulting me while demanding I declare what side I was on.

In fact, there were maybe ten people of the whole lot that were really the outspoken aggressors. BUT, this does not answer the question as to why the rational people didn't speak up and attempt to control the unbridled hatred of their group, and say, 'hey how about we stick to the issue at hand here and stop with the homophobic rants'.

The problem all stems from the "Patriot card" I mentioned before. It's this initial defense that supporters of the law revert to; a simplified stance, applied by conservatives during any issue that deals with country. That is to say, if you disagree with, for example in this case, potential racial profiling, then you are not American and you hate this country. It's a pretty solid argument, however hollow, in that it easily dismisses the opposing argument and those who support it. We're the ones with the flags and the USA music, so you must be the other guys that are threatening our well being.

The SB 1070 protesters were not without their eggers-on, enjoying poking fun right back at the Geno's camp. Having stood there though, I did not hear anything quite on par with an 8-year-old shouting faggot. Most of the retorts, although antagonizing in tone, were playful twists on the blind ignorance being thrown at them.

All that aside, this sign was pretty damn funny.

In case you can't enlarge the photo, it reads, "Wiz + Wit AREN'T English words!"

I think even some people on the Geno's side had to laugh at that one.

All in all, it was refreshing to see about 400 people so adamantly split on an issue, passionately shouting it out in my neighborhood, even if most of it resulted in playground name calling.

Oh and in case you forgot:

In the end, one thing is for sure. If anything will keep Illegal Aliens out of this country, it'll be GENO's cheesesteaks.

He rose....3 months ago

2010-07-08T10:38:00.000-07:00

I took these around Easter and as of a week ago, this window is still decorated as so, only the purple "He is Risen" has faded to a pale lavender. But this isn't a new concept in South Philly. Ney, there are several blocks, yes entire BLOCKS, that leave up, for example, their Christmas decor year round. But can we simply chalk this up to sheer laziness? Yes. Yes we can.

So who knows, Christ may still be rising over and over well through Thanksgiving. But then again, the American flag decals in this window have been up since Easter as well, so maybe leaving this window display up until July 4th was the plan all along. I mean what's more American than Jesus Christ?....You're right, Ab machines, but Jesus is a close second! (but I think we can all agree that Jesus used an Ab machine)

That being said, come on people! It's lazy and irresponsible enough not picking up your dog's shit-piles, and not throwing your trash in a trash can while in our streets, so please don't let it spill over into our front windows.

Always save the bows...

2010-07-06T08:37:00.000-07:00

The Best Graduation/Prom Night display EVER.

2010-07-01T12:39:00.000-07:00

Ok, either Mr. Peanut lives here, or the cast of Chicago is subletting.

Hiya Kitty.

2010-02-05T10:03:00.000-08:00

My favorite Hello Kitty Valentine in this window read: "You're my Purrr-fect Valentine! And if I was a change purse, I would let you put your Indian

head nickel in me."

Diamond in the rough

2010-02-03T12:11:00.000-08:00

The area this was taken in wasn't the 'cheeriest'. On this block, you don't worry so much about being together for certain holidays, you worry about being alive for them. But this window was nice.

HUGS.

2010-02-01T13:14:00.000-08:00

I chose not to post a photo of the house across the street that just said

"Reach-around".

(The) Last (of) Christmas

2010-01-29T09:59:00.000-08:00

One night Only! Jefferson Starship Laser Light Nativity Rock Show! Tickets $80 in advance, $95 at the door.

After another busy year...

...the jolly old elf who made it all happen...

...lays his head down...

...for a long winters nap.

Good night sweet prince. Shhhhh...

More Holiday leftovers

2010-01-28T09:44:00.000-08:00

Christmas Minimalism.

(very rare down here)

Beware...Santa's coming to town...

...but not until next year, so it's cool.

Some Christmas leftovers

2010-01-27T08:41:00.001-08:00

Instead of blowing majestically in the wind, it helps trap branches and small debris...majestically. God Bless.

Classy.

Still classy.

And then there's this...

I think my favorite are windows like this. The ones that don't know what they want to be. Kinda makes you wonder what the thought process was by the owner here. Giant iridescent purple bow, electrical light netting, Christmas balls, and a paper duck. I'm convinced there's a holiday I don't know about.

Another Mummer's Day in the books...of spells

2010-01-21T10:22:00.001-08:00

Daughter: Daddy, is that man wearing a dress?
Father: Yes, honey. You see, this is Philadelphia.

Blow-up Spidermans! Plastic toy Gatling guns! Furry blue cowboy hats! Oh, and we've got CRAP too!

Too bad the photos I took of this guy flying didn't come out.

Homosexual Cousin It

2010-01-20T11:55:00.000-08:00

Set an extra place at Christmas

dinner this year kids.

Cousin It is bringing a "friend".

MUMMMER's DAY...finally

2010-01-19T13:12:00.000-08:00

Way to not further the stereotype guys.

(Pizza Guy having a moment of introspection.)

Who am I? Merely a greasy man covered in sauce and cheese like my father before me and his father before him? Just another piece of kneeded dough smothered in marinara and pepperoni slices doomed to emerge only once a year on this, the Mummerest of days? Ney! Why, one would just have to gaze upon mine arm to see that not only am I a Pizza Guy, but I am a decorated Pizza MAN! Hurrah! Awarded with the ribbon for best crust and most flavorful sauce, I walk with my head held high, thanking God for the gifts given me. Because Lord knows, I could have been born a Domino's Pasta Bread Bowl. Ew.

All is right with the world!

The legend of Tiny Town

2010-01-07T17:22:00.000-08:00

Once a year, at the stroke of midnight on Christmas Eve, the tiny people of Tiny Town come to life for fifteen whole minutes. They come to life on that night and frantically search for a way to break the spell that trapped them in Tiny Town hundreds of years ago. They come to life for those few futile moments. Unfortunately for them, so do the evil Lego people.

Lookee who made it up Philly way...

2010-01-05T19:53:00.000-08:00

Is he moving...?

So little boy, you think you're really smart, don't you?

2010-01-05T19:46:00.000-08:00

But I ask you, what are you going to do

next year?

Best bet? Hope for a lazy eye by 2016.

Happy New Year

2010-01-01T16:38:00.001-08:00

The first nine years of the 21st century lent itself to novelty sunglass wearing.

Those days are officially over.

Little Mummer Man

2010-01-01T16:32:00.000-08:00

And I'm pretty sure he's a bobblehead...

Two thousand and ten

2010-01-01T10:00:00.000-08:00

The Nightmare during Christmas

2009-12-31T14:54:00.001-08:00

It seems that every holiday is represented

here simultaneously.

Tree = Christmas

Color of tree = Valentine's Day

Pumpkins = Thanksgiving

Severed Head = Halloween

Tribal print curtains = Kwanzaa

Despite the fog that night, the ships made it safely into port...

2009-12-30T10:03:00.000-08:00

Breaking News

2009-12-28T21:12:00.000-08:00

JUST IN: Mammoth wreath escapes holiday testing facility; Scales building with giant tentacle arm

Two unidentified angels held hostage inside. Police considering demands.

In unrelated news, rise in local 'commercial space' availability. Please call ahead for appointment.

Holiday riddle

2009-12-23T14:02:00.000-08:00

Q: What does an epileptic NOT

do on Christmas?

A: Walk by this house.

Even my camera got nauseous.

The dog doesn't care what time of year it is

2009-12-18T11:34:00.000-08:00

And please call ahead for outside seating. Space limited.

Suicidal Homer. Indifferent Snoopy.

2009-12-17T10:37:00.000-08:00

A very fabulous Christmas to you and yours

2009-12-16T09:43:00.000-08:00

Nothing says "Happy Holidays" quite like a sexy feather boa. Or two. Or more.

And I can't help but assume that when those dangling feather ornaments aren't displayed on the front door, they're hanging from the homeowners ears.

Some have perfected the art

2009-12-15T10:36:00.000-08:00

Well lit, deliberate color scheme, full but not overwhelming, and quite symmetrical.

Happy Turkey Day!!...still

2009-12-14T13:05:00.000-08:00

I wanted to knock because I had so many questions, but I was scared who might answer the door. There was something a little off here.

(Nonetheless, that floating Pilgrim belt buckle hat is phenomenal.)

Snow Ghosts

2009-12-13T14:12:00.000-08:00

Saw these in front of a house around the corner and thought they looked like plastic ghosts. But then I realized they were actually supposed to be plastic snowmen. And then I realized they were floating above the ground by themselves, so now I'm not sure.

Imprisoned Carolers

2009-12-11T08:58:00.001-08:00

What was their crime?

Mispronouncing "In Excelsis Deo"?

It's not their fault painters tape doesn't come in Christmas colors

2009-12-10T08:12:00.000-08:00